Tone Delivers the Message
Mar 24, 2024“10% of Conflicts is due to difference in opinion.. 90% is due to wrong tone of voice....” - Ritu Ghatourey
Sometimes we use our tone to control situations. Although possibly hurt or triggered, it’s still a way we reflex into control. As long as your safety not being in threat, control is disconnection in action. It takes peoples power away. Power is a human need and everyone craves it and deserves to feel seen, heard and valued.
With tone, It is not only what we say, but how we say it that delivers the ultimate message behind the words we use with children. The impact of our words, become a child’s inner voice and what they believe to be true about themselves. Tuning into tone, gives you the awareness that even the words “I love you” cannot be convincing when said in a gruff or mean-spirited tone, and how through tone we can connect or disconnect.
For Parents
Check in – to – Tune into Tone. If you feel you are yelling, whining or speaking in a way to control the situation, you can check in with yourself and re-adjust the volume or intonation of your voice at any time. You can use your tone to stay connected in the heat of the moment. To stay calm to be able to respond the way you choose.
For Educators
Catch yourself in the act of noticing if you have escalated your tone and if you are matching it with your body language. Once you catch yourself in the act, you can make the conscious effort to use your neutral voice in these situations to bring more calm and connection back into your body and the situation. Helping you to role model self-regulation and how you can be frustrated, annoyed and angry yet maintain respect in conflict. Be mindful how powerful your tone is to create the optimal learning environment you want to create.
Kerry Spina
Kids in Harmony
Wellbeing Educator
Behaviour Support Coach
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