Harmony in the Home – Wellbeing for all.

It’s messy work staying calm.

As parents, we are ever familiar with the many skills and arms needed to manage our household and our emotional and physical health.  Whether you go to paid work or not this blog is the same for all parents on busy crazy days.  Regardless of our choices and circumstances the emotional fatigue and frustration is something we can all relate too and something that connects us parents. And although these busy days have their upside – we get to meet with friends, get out of the house, get fresh air and be productive, feel like we are accomplishing something – they can also be not only challenging for ourselves but overwhelming and over stimulating for our children.

Hurry and distraction are the two threats in a busy crazy day.  In our busyness we can miss vital signs that our child is struggling or those around us are reaching out.  We may not even notice our own stress signals and know all too well of the tension headache that hits around 4 pm in the afternoon.

What can happen is the spiral downwards as our child’s needs go unnoticed or noticed and unmet.  We notice our child’s mood or negative unhelpful behaviour and feel at our wits end of how much more can I cope with today?

So as I paint a pretty picture, I think at some point we have been here at least once…

So what can we do to prevent the spiral of disconnection and family stress and fatigue?

Here are 6 Harmony in the Home Practices that help to stay mindful and make space for closeness no matter how crazy or how busy.

The beauty of Morning Rituals - Creating a morning ritual will ensure that no matter what happens you have had that time for connection.  This may be a special hug or love phrase that you share with your child or family as a whole.  With my son we have a ritual of Baci Baci where I kiss my son on both cheeks and we say Baci Baci.  With his Daddy he says Naso Naso which is a nose kiss. This is a very special time for us to instantly connect no matter what. Even now, we yell out from the car park Baci Baci and we know what it means to us. Or you could have a morning ‘All in the bed HUG’ or ‘Morning story book’ to start the day.  With your baby you may like to baby wear or the first words your bubba hears in the morning are the same love whispers “Muma’s here for you, good morning” or “Today’s going to be a Great Day.” 

In praise of slow – Walk slower, speak slower and make an active choice to not move so fast.  EVEN if you are in a rush.  This helps you to slow down your body, which in turn helps you to slow down your mind.  It brings an element of calm not only to you but to your whole environment.  It models to your child a calm and steady nature.  We all know too well the crash and burn effect of rushing!  The rush rush, where in a hurry and you kick your toe, lock your keys in the car, put the milk in the cupboard and the ice in the oven.  The more we rush the less mindful we are of the moment’s in-between and the more forgetful we become.  This only adds to our parental stress and fears of not being good enough and capable enough. 

Delegate to encourage self-care, independence and capability.  Short term this may feel frustrating and a little bit of a nightmare.  Long term you are encouraging your child to think for themselves.  You could ask your child to choose their clothes for the day, or if you choose them you could ask them to dress themselves as best they can.  Give them a wet face washer to wash their own face and then as they grow you could ask them to go and wash their face.  They will know what they need and how to do it. 

Communicate Big Picture – Share how the morning is going to roll. It can help children feel safe and comforted when they know what's happening. “We are going to Aunty Linda’s this morning.  When we have finished breakfast and all gotten ready then we will get in the car, drop off at the shop to get some fruit and drive to Aunties house where we will have a wonderful time together as a family.  OR Today is Mummy’s work day.  Once we have had breakfast we are going to get ready and I will drop Ethan off at kindergarten and Sarah off at Grandma’s house.  I’ll make lunches if you guys can get what you need ready.  Ethan, you may like to help Sarah and Sarah if you want to come and spend some time with me in the kitchen that would be fun, we could sing a song while I make the lunches.

Reconnection - If you have been away from your children for the day this is a beautiful time to reconnect.  It could be late in the afternoon when children are hungry, tired and parents are too.  When you get home make a cup of tea, or an icy drink for the family and sit and share the day.  Or get outside in nature or in fresh air, have a run around together, play in the sprinkler or in the snow… where ever you let nature be your play mate.  Spending this time together before the start of dinner, bath and night time rituals can be a beautiful way to spend valuable time together.

You Matter!  Notice your own needs.  Keep your food regular and sustaining.  Drink lots of water and where possible take a few 5 minute alone time breaks.  Even if you can go and sit on the toilet.  Connect with your breath, your body with an intention for calm and peace.  These 5 minute breaks can restore calm your nervous system and give you that recharge to keep going.

Kerry Spina

Wellbeing Coach | Strengths Practitioner

© Kids in Harmony