Mindset Parenting Gems

So, what are mindsets? 

A fixed mindset is one where we believe that our core personality, skills, abilities, inner qualities and intelligence are fixed. People with a fixed mindset spend more time documenting their intelligence or skills instead of developing it. They also believe that talent alone creates success without effort. People with a fixed mindset believe that their traits are just givens. They possess a certain number of brains and skills, and nothing can be done to change that. 

They also believe their failures and lack of abilities are fixed and unchangeable, and there is nothing that they can do to modify the outcome. Since success and failure are so tightly tied to their sense of identity, people with a fixed mindset tend to develop an irrational fear of failing and take less risk.

On the other hand, a growth mindset is the opposite, where they believe everything about a person is malleable and evolving. Through resilience and effort, anyone can develop their inner qualities to build themselves into anything they want to be. This mindset creates a love of learning and emotional resilience that is essential for great success. People with a growth mindset believe it takes belief, practice and understanding and that you can change and transform through knowing your mindsets. Since success and failure are seen as separate events and not directly tied to their identity, people who can choose a growth mindset tend to see their success with humility and handle failures gracefully.

It's important to remember we have both mindsets. The practice is in recognising when you are in your Fixed mindset and when you are in your Growth mindset and working towards reframing and focusing on growth. This is where the practice begins for nurturing growth in our mindset. 

Mindset Parenting Gems;

• Adopt a Growth Mindset Parenting Motto “How else could I see this, what else could this be?”
• Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like you treat others. 
• Laugh at yourself. Humour is an excellent vehicle to resilience and can be a great option to move through emotions, challenges and stressful situations.
• Lighten up. Practice not taking everything seriously; some things are as they are. Acceptance is a great comforter and leveler. Gently gently.
• Give yourself permission to stuff up and focus on “what can I do for next time. Making mistakes is how we learn and how you speak out loud about your own mistakes will model to your child how to handle mistakes.
• Let your child know that you’re sorry; you too are learning the skills to make effective choices in your life and parenting. 
• Create an environment where mistakes are okay, that they are seen as valuable teachable moments. What have I learnt from this, how have I grown from the experience? Reflection is a mighty mindset practice.
• Create a peaceful parenting motto ‘’This too shall pass.” "Calm blue oceans."
• Hang around people that energise you and listen with their whole heart without judgement or trying to fix everything. 
• Know that the answers will always come eventually. Overtime we learn and grow and sometimes the 'aha moment' comes well after the moment.
• Trust yourself to know what you need.  
• If you pray. Pray with an open mind, and don’t be afraid to ask for guidance and strength. If nature or the universe is your thing, go out in nature and listen within. Ask for guidance.
• Practice flexibility to life’s changes. Staying open-minded to the bends and curves can help sustain a ‘can-do attitude'.  
• Take time for yourself in some small way, daily. Whatever that can look like for you. 
• Remind yourself that you always choice and you have more options than you think you do. There are many things you can't control, and with mindset you can learn mindfulness. The ability to control the way you respond. 
• Check in with how you feel and the stories you’re telling yourself.  
• Are they accurate or helpful, or imagined and unhelpful?
• Practice Grace, breathe… give thanks for the learning.
• Practice Gratitude – What’s working right now? AND celebrate and give thanks for that. It is incredible how gratitude can bring us into the present without worrying about the future or lamenting the past.

If you want to be inspired even more with mindset, check out my online CAN-DO Growth Mindset Toolkit for at home or in the classroom. 

Enjoy the Growth!

Kerry Spina  

Wellbeing Educator

Behaviour Support Coach

www.kidsinharmony