Giving Children Choices – Raising self-aware and thoughtful choice-makers.

“Your child’s ability to make choices begins with your decision to offer them.  The more opportunity for your child to practice making the choices the more effective they get at making them.

Choose, decide and pick are three words that can be used to teach children that they are in control of their own behaviour and attitudes.

If you want to help your children see themselves as responsible for their own

behaviour, feelings and attitudes; adding these three special words, "choose,

decide and pick," to your Parent Guidance.  Right them on your fridge door as a reminder to notice when you see or experience your child making choices. 

• I noticed you decided to pick a green cup today.
• How come you picked your grumpy mood?
• What response will you choose if the problems get tougher?
• How did you decide to act when your coach pulled you of the court?
• I noticed you chose to be friendly to the new child at play group today.
• I see you decided to be angry with your sister when she took your toy
• What made you choose to laugh when your brother fell over?
• What do you think you will pick if you are offered the Captain of the football team or the Leader of debating team.
• I see you chose the blue mat today at Kids in Harmony.
• I noticed how kind you were to your friend when they hurt themselves.

These small moments taken to acknowledge your child’s choice making in action can shine the light on many behaviours you want to encourage.  It also is a powerful way of nurturing mindfulness (self-awareness).

At Kids in Harmony we encourage choice awareness at relaxation time with the colour of the mat (please know it’s also a choice not to have a mat J.  We also use language such as ‘practice’.  We are going to practice to put away the props.  This gives the illusion of choice.  We are not telling them what they are doing, we are being suggestive.  “Your choice, you can pack it away by yourself or I can help you”.   

Within my 3 Step Method Online Course ‘Choice Guidance Behaviour Approach’ I give the why it matters, the research and how to put choices and connection into your everyday with the children in your life.

Your child is NEVER too young to start building upon their choice making muscle.  Even a feeding child may show preference to feeding from one side or the other.  I noticed you only chose to only drink half of your bottle.  I notice you chose to feed from Mummy’s right side today.  I notice you picked your fluffy toy to chew.  I noticed you enjoyed your tummy time more today. I noticed you decided not to sleep for too long today ;).

Enjoy the journey, it takes practise.

Yours in Harmony

Kerry