Empowering Self-belief - Dedicated to my Grandad

Sep 18, 2020

Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.'” The Talmud

My Grandad was one of those. That angel that bent down and said grow, grow…

What did you want to be when you were growing up?

I wanted to be a Hairdresser and my big one time dream when I was a child was to be on Young Talent Time. I still remember those evenings watching YTT. My favourite part, the song at the end. "And then while I'm away, I'll write home every day, and send all my loving to you".

My Grandad Allan was the most amazing Grandfather. He championed us all. I remember clearly one night when we were watching the Young Talent Time Show (our weekly family ritual) I said to him "I would love to be Tina Arena." he said to me in a calm and knowingly way "You could do that, you could be on Young Talent Time". When I think of this moment, I could cry. There are times in your life where a memory not only stores in your head but lives in your heart and soul. This was one of those times.

Now, here is the thing. Kids have a BS radar, a big one! My son often says to me "Now don't just say it is good because I am your son". I say to him sure thing, here comes the feedback.

That night, my Grandfather meant what he said. I felt it. He said it with the most meaningful and honest tone ever. There was no doubt in my mind that he believed it to be true. I remember it, like it was yesterday. The look in his eyes AND more importantly I believed what he said to me! We were sitting on the lounge and I was curled up into the side of him and fit like a glove. It was like a jigsaw piece, the perfect fit.

Here is the amazing thing I had realised of late when I was reminded of this moment. Guess what I do for a living? I facilitate music for wellbeing and sing and dance and share the love of family connections, music appreciation, values and relaxation with children and their families.

Sometimes we have these little moments with our children, and you never know the impact that that one small moment can have in the "happy childhood memory bank" or whether the seed is planted for self-belief in certain areas of their lives to unfold in the future.

I'm not saying that this moment, sealed my fate. I'm not saying my Grandfather had a premonition. I am sharing that while we have these seemingly simple conversations or moments of championing those we love or moments of encouragement or connection, you never know if it is something that will touch their heart forever and ever. What self-belief it will create. I will always remember that moment, the gentleness, the love, the acceptance and the pride that my Grandfather had for me at that moment. The full whole-hearted beleif that I could be anything I ever dreamed I wanted to be.  I only wish some days he were alive to meet my son, cuddle him, hold him and love him just like he did with me. I remember his white singlets, his taylored pants with a belt and his slip on shoes. It was his signature yard house outfit. I remember standing on his feet and him walking me around the house for what felt like hours as a child. He had endless time for me and my siblings.

My Grandad died when I was 13. I watched him quickly die of cancer, and he was everything to our family and me. I remember sitting on the end of the bed in my school uniform in disbelief of how thin and frail he looked since the last time I had seen him. I was crying and he was trying to comfort me. I walked away that day and never saw him in person again.  Way back then it wasn’t a thing for a child to attend a funeral and his death was my first experience with the grief death brings. In many ways it triggered a fear in me of losing the people I love, a fear I still have to manage like a fierce protector and  rears its head from time to time. 

This blog is in dedication to my beautiful, divine grandfather... My Grandad Allan. James Pitcairn Allan – I loved you then, I love you now, forever and always.

On an extra meaningful note!

Our son managed to surprise us all by coming into the world almost 4 weeks premature to be born on my Grandfathers birthday. I hadn't even realised until my Dad told me it was Grandad Allan's birthday.  What are the chances?  As you can imagine, I cried and cried with delight, and it was a day of celebration, like no other. 

Life is a blessing!

Yours in Harmony

Kerry

Helping you to raise the next generation to be the resilient, kind and connected generation. 

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