Creating Your Parenting Manifesto.
Apr 19, 2020“I came to parenting the way most of us do — knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.” — Mayim Bialik actress and neuroscienst.
We are all learning as we go, fumbling through some days and kicking goals others.
But what is the glue that holds us together?
What are the things we can come home to?
What nourishes the heart and soul of our family?
We hear all too often about how important it is to align with our values in all that we do. It’s well researched in the positive psychology field that aligning with our values helps us to have more meaning, better relationships, personal happiness and greater wellbeing.
Our values are what wakes us up in the morning.
Our values are what we hold near and dear to us.
Our values are our currency, what we put value on.
Our values drive our decision making.
Our values motivate us.
Our values help us to pursue our purpose with passion and perseverance.
Our values let us know if we are off track or heading in the right direction.
Our values help us to feel whole, calm and connected.
These 15 questions are a meaningful way to discover what you value, the connection you want to have with your child and the long term vision you strive for in your parenting.
Use these questions to create your very own parent manifesto.
A parent manifesto is an out loud, public verbal or written declaration of the intentions, motives, values and views you have in your parenting.
I liken a manifesto as a written intention that you share with your family to guide, strengthen and support you in your parenting approach.
It doesn’t have to be fancy. For a couple of years, in the early years our manifesto was typed out on a piece of paper and read something like this “Trust our son, to trust himself” and “Love is a doing word”. I then discovered Brene Brown’s manifesto (I highly recommend you Google it and feel deeply inspired) and it was a powerful read and resonated with me strongly.
Our family's current manifesto (created in June 2013) has never changed because we love it so much, I chose to have professional designed and I am so happy I did, my son loves it so very much and I still remember his eyes and response the moment I showed it to him.
Here are the words.
To Isaac,
OUR PARENTING Manifesto.
OUR LOVE FOR YOU IS ENDLESS!
In our family, love is a doing word. We will express our love for you in our actions. Not only through words but in the hundreds of things we do for each other to survive and thrive. You can see our love in the way we look at you, treat you and the way you will ALWAYS feel safe in our care.
We will follow our dreams and live our best lives for ourselves and for you! We encourage you to believe in yourself and
DREAM BIG - We trust YOU.
We will take good care of ourselves so that we have even more energy and vitality to care for you.
You are WHOLE and PERFECT as you are. You have a voice, USE IT. Negotiate, communicate and do what you need to do to be a great citizen within your school and community. A citizen that makes an effort to contribute, connect and cooperate WHOLEHEARTEDLY. Other people matter!
Who you are, matters to us!
Life won't be perfect.
You will meet your challenges, as will we. Sometimes you will feel stuck, in a rut or confused. But you are never alone.
We are always here for you, no matter what. We will be there for your tears, your heartache, and your forks in the road.
We will be there for your glory and celebrations. We want you to be and give all that you are to this beautiful world.
You are Loved and Lovable.
Go Live.
Be YOURSELF.
FR O M
Y O U R MUM AND DAD.
For you, your manifesto can be as big or small as you like. One sentence or one word even. What I like about creating a manifesto is that it can be a precious keep sake for years to come and a beautiful way to get to know yourself and your partner even more. It also strengthens you in the times you feel a little off track.
If a manifesto is not your thing, the questions can be as simple as creating conversations with your partner or taking time for yourself to reflect and connect with that inner most longing you have for your child and for yourself as a parent. If you love to journal, you are in for a treat.
15 Questions to ask yourself
- How would you want to be parented if you were your child?
- Acknowledge 2 amazing parents you know and why you respect and value their parenting?
- What 3 Values describe you?
- Describe 3 words that describe what you want for your child’s developmental years?
- What are the 3 things you want your child to remember about their childhood?
- What do you need to be less of as a parent for your child to flourish?
- What are the most precious things about being a parent and why?
- Name 3 places you love taking your child and why?
- If you had to trust your child with someone for a day who would you choose and why?
- In 20 years time how would you love your child to describe you?
- Name 3 things that you value about how you parent your child now?
- How would you want your child to describe their childhood?
- What are some of the things you said you would never do as a parent?
- What are your biggest hopes and dreams for your child as they grow?
- What family rituals would you hope your children take into their parenting?
These questions are to encourage big picture parenting to know your ‘why’. Why you choose to parent the way you do, why things deeply matter to you, why some things are not negotiable and other things you are more relaxed with. Why certain things trigger you and other things make you feel peaceful and calm. These questions are an insightful and a powerful way to discover and align with how you want to BE in your parenting and how you want to FEEL in your parenting.
If you get stuck on the questions, give yourself plenty of time. You may even have some better questions to ask yourself.
May reading this blog energise you and inspire you in all that you do.
Enjoy the journey and deep solid connection it brings to aligning with your values!
Yours in Harmony.
Kerry
