Nurturing Independence
Jan 17, 2021“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.” Ann Landers
Let go and watch them grow.
Everyone’s potential grows when we nurture independence.
If we think of three words “Children are Capable.”
From birth we can trust our beautiful babies. We can trust when they cry that they need us to respond and comfort them. We can trust when they are frustrated we will notice and listen to their feelings. It’s a myth that meeting a baby or child’s needs spoils them and makes them weak and less resilient. The science shows us now that the more we comfort with connection, emotional awareness and growth mindset communication the stronger and more resilient a child will become.
It’s a becoming.
Independence relies on our ability to give it. It’s being able to let go of control and to muster up the trust, patience, acceptance and encouragement children need when practising all those things they need to learn to one day be able to do it for themselves. It's a life-long practice.
For Parents
What small steps can you take to let go of control. Can you leave the bed wrinkly and not quite perfect if your child attempts to make it? Can you wait it out as your child attempts their shoelaces or finding the puzzle piece? Can you ask your child to water the garden? Can you teach your child a skill you have wanted them to learn and remember its baby steps and it takes practice?
For Educators
What choices can you give the children around their learning? How can you encourage the art of practice? Helping your class to understand that to learn something independently they may require support, and will require a whole lot of committed practise. What words can you use to help children to trust themselves to have a go? How do you acknowledge and give meaningful praise when you see independence in action?
Kerry Spina
Kids in Harmony
Wellbeing Educator
Behaviour Support Coach
If you want to empower your child and nurture independence even more, check out my signature program the Choice Guidance Behaviour Method Online Course.
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