Teaching Tact
Mar 09, 2021"It is tact that is golden, not silence."
Samuel Butler
Creating harmony every day!
Harmony Card Tact
I think before I speak
I choose my words carefully
I have a keen sense of what to say and do
I consider other people's feelings.
When others are speaking, I listen.
Teaching children to understand the importance of Tact is a lifelong skill. It is an opportunity to nurture their communication skills. It helps them to hone in on their emotional awareness too, to notice that their words can impact how others feel. It gives them skills to show empathy, kindness and care. It nurtures the many inner qualities we want for them to grow into contributing, caring and conscious choice-makers as adults.
What's cute when a child is 3 is not necessarily cute when they are saying it at 10 years old. I often call it the Tactless Ten however the tact creeps in way before 10. It's helpful to be aware of it and instead of stressing and demanding a child not be rude and insensitive, also known as tactless. We have plenty of Teachable Moments to help guide and encourage them on what not to do and why as well as how to do it. They need lots and lots of practice.
Helping children with a sense of timing in what they say and how they say it evolves their communication skills which leads to positive and connected relationships.
Guide them to notice their tone.
It's a skill and one I believe is so important I chose it as one of the Harmony Cards for Kids! A set of 30 Virtues and Values Cards to help children and the people in their lives explore and discover their inner qualities and how it helps bring out the best in each other.
TACT IS A KEY need and inner quality for any connected communication and relationship deepening.
You know the saying "Foot in Mouth". That's what we are helping our children with 
. To be able to think before they speak to be mindful of what they want to say and how they want to say it. What a skill!!
. To be able to think before they speak to be mindful of what they want to say and how they want to say it. What a skill!! For Parents and Educators
Work towards not being triggered when a child is rude or tactless by using a ''check in". Ask the child "You need to check in with yourself, do you think what you said was helpful/kind/respectful/useful/caring/creative/responsible etc... then lead them into conversations. They may have been trying to be funny and this is another confusion for children. Helping them to know they can be funny without mocking or hurting other peoples feelings. Then invite them to "What could you have said that would have been more meaningful or helpful in this situation?" Let them know some of the things you do to think before you speak. Whether it's counting to 10, or using your thinking to say to yourself "Is what I am about to say going to be kind?"
Enjoy the practice of Tact, it bring so many more inner qualities and virtues into play. Things like kindness, respect, responsibility, care, thoughtfulness, friendliness, trust, togetherness, forgiveness, fairness and more.
Yours in Harmony
Kerry x
Author
Kids in Harmony
Wellbeing Educator
Behaviour Support Coach
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